Primitive Human
by fallenangel8794
Summary: A collection of ficlets outlining the blossoming relationship between Javik and Shepard.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: A collection of drabbles of a blossoming relationship between Javik and Sylvia Shepard. This was kind of spinning around in my head while I was doing another piece of Shavik for a commission. That will be posted as soon as I get the go-ahead from the commissioner. Anyway, enjoy! I always love to hear your thoughts! Bioware owns the ME universe.**

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This primitive-this human-was unique. She commanded respect and did not accept defeat. She was strong. But was she strong enough to destroy the Reapers? Time would tell. Until she proved unworthy, he would serve with her.

...

Javik was not liking this cycle. These primitives were looking to him like he would have all the answers and miraculously make the Reapers disappear. It was infuriating. There was nothing he could do other than shoot the ground forces. He was not a scientist. He was a solider. The commander was a soldier, yet she was off playing politician to unite the disparate races against the bigger threat. She was doing the impossible. Maybe it would be enough. He could only hope…

"Javik!"

"Yes, Commander?"

"Want to see what happened to Tuchanka?"

"The krogan home world?"

"Right. Suit up and be at the shuttle in fifteen."

She was gone before he could answer. Shepard was bringing him on every ground mission. He was unsure of her reasons. Did she think it made it easier on him, somehow? Or that his thirst for vengeance could be sated by decimating whatever ground forces they managed to find? Or did she just like having him at her back? The last thought made the Prothean grimace. Primitives. He would never understand them.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Since these are so short compared to what I usually write, they'll be out much quicker. Hope you're enjoying it! Bioware owns the ME universe.**

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Four missions in a row. While she gave time for her crew to rest, Shepard never stopped. She changed out her squad enough let them recover while she marched right back off the ship for more. It was the first and the last missions that Javik had joined her on. The first had been relatively uncomplicated, save a failed turian Lieutenant. The last was something else entirely.

In the salarian's short time on the Normandy, Javik had grown to tolerate him better than most of the others. It was clear that he and Shepard were close. When she returned and Mordin did not, Javik could feel the sorrow and guilt and resigned understanding of his decision radiating off of her. She would not speak to anyone. She returned quickly to her cabin and locked the door. Even so far away, he could still feel her as if she was standing next to him. He found himself in the uncomfortable position of worrying about her. He told himself that he had no reason to, she was the great commander, but still he felt his gut twist in anxiety. She carried a great burden and he feared she would let it consume her.

His fears were unfounded. After only an hour she reappeared, looking no worse for wear. If he couldn't sense the turmoil within her, he never would have seen it. She shouted for the pilot to set a course for some other planet, not bothering to take a break.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here's the next little bit. Since no one's told me it sucks, I'm going to keep going. Hope that means you like it! Bioware owns the ME universe.**

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Missing krogan scouts. That was what had brought them to this planet. The "Grunt" krogan was yet another ally of the commander's. It was the krogan who shared his quarters on the Normandy. Violent and over confident. No wonder they were in this mess.

The bunker rocked and slipped free of the cliff. Javik's heart leapt to his throat at the sight of the ground coming up fast to meet them. What had he said not five minutes ago? Long way down. Funny, it didn't seem so long when gravity was having its way with you. His first thought was Shepard. He heard her calling to the krogan above them and heaved a silent sigh of relief.

A cave in. Why was everything with this human so complicated? There was no such thing as a simple mission with her. Shepard shoved the Prothean roughly forward before she dove after him. She was going to get herself killed with her save-everyone attitude. And rachni. He would have killed them, but she gave them another chance to help. Primitives were too kind for their own good.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Two in one day, whoot! So, without further ado, here you go! Bioware owns the ME universe.**

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Back on the ship, Shepard set a course for the Citadel and they were off again. Javik could detect the exhaustion in her. If she worked herself to death trying to stop the Reapers and gave out from fatigue before she accomplished her goal there was no hope left for this cycle. In his time, a soldier would not dare confront his commander, no matter the intention. He had noticed others from the crew approaching her to express concern. Maybe this cycle was different. Or maybe the commander was. Javik decided to try it after their stop on the Citadel.

"Javik!"

"Yes, Commander?" He answered without turning around. It used to anger him to be called in such a way, but he had grown to understand the human's ways and accept it, even like it. But he would never admit it.

"You said you had traitors in your cycle?"

"Yes." He could feel her anger hot and intense.

"Oh, good. We have shit to shoot of that variety. Suit up and be ready in five."

"Of course." She was already stomping away. There was a history here, he was sure of it. Whether or not he will ever learn of it had yet to be determined. He checked his rifle, it was ready. He checked his ever present armor, changing it from red to the off green color he knew the commander liked. Wait, what?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hope you all are enjoying this as much as I am! Thanks for reading/faving/following/reviewing! Makes my day :) And Bioware owns the ME universe.**

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"Thane!" Shepard gasped as he hit the floor. Javik was standing close enough that he could feel the pain and anger in her. She fired blindly at the assassin and chased after him. When the drell attempted to follow, she dropped the ground next to him.

"How bad?"

"I have time. Catch him." Javik could feel her heart break as she left him.

"Bailey, Thane needs medical attention, fast."

They climbed into a skycar and took off. Javik was in the back, behind Shepard and Garrus. Without warning, the assassin dropped onto their vehicle. Shepard tried to shoot him through the glass but the bullets were stopped cold. She opened the door and leaned halfway out, determined to get the bastard. Javik's heart skipped a beat. She was going to get herself killed.

"Commander!" He shouted. If she heard, she didn't acknowledge him.

"Shit," Garrus hissed, taking the wheel. She was still trying to get the assassin. Shepard finally pulled herself back into the skycar and took the now useless controls. It didn't take them long to crash. "I should have known not to let you drive anything nice after the way you handled the Mako."

"Shut it, Garrus." She was at least smirking when she said it.

Staring down the barrel of her gun at her former squad mate, Javik felt her frustration. He was surprised when she lowered her weapon. He and the turian kept theirs trained on the human.

"I better not regret this," was all he said.

"You won't."

Councilor Udina lay in a puddle of his own blood and Shepard was getting agitated talking when she knew her old team mate was dying. Her emotions were stronger than anyone else's. Javik felt himself easily overwhelmed in her presence. With a final nod, she was gone and he was left in an odd stillness. He found it uncomfortable.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Long chapter, yay! Hope you all are enjoying this! Thanks so much for reading/faving/following/reviewing! Bioware owns the ME universe.**

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Javik found her in the war room, staring at numbers without really seeing them. She was trying to regain control over her raging thoughts and be the leader that everyone needed her to be. Anyone else looking at her would have seen her studying the current war assets with a small scowl. He could sense the turmoil beneath.

"Commander."

Her eyes flicked up to him, "Yes?"

"The numbers will not change as long as you stare at them."

"I know." She sighed, "I'm just running things in my head."

"You could not have saved either of them."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Her face remained an unreadable mask, but standing next to her, he could feel her heart beat faster.

"The salarian and the drell. They were both at peace with their deaths. Why are you not?"

She lowered her head, "Come with me."

He followed her out of the war room and to the elevator. She took him up to her private cabin. He faltered for only a minute before accepting her invitation to enter. In his cycle, this would never have been permitted. He still had much to learn about this one.

"So, Javik, you know what I'm feeling."

"I do."

"Speak freely, for god's sakes. Everyone else does."

"I am not used to this, Commander."

"Look, in my private quarters, call me Sylvia. I trust you enough to let you in here, might as well be friends."

"I do not wish to be friends."

"Stow it. If you didn't, you wouldn't have followed."

He opened his mouth to disagree but closed it when he realized she was right. "As you wish."

"Now, what were you trying to say in the war room?"

"You treat their deaths like a personal failure. Why?" He was genuinely curious. This was not something he had seen.

"Mordin's death doesn't bother me as much as Thane's. Mordin died saving the species that he had helped sterilize. He felt like he was atoning for it by curing it and that was what he wanted. It hurts because he was my friend, part of my crew." Her emotions now displayed on her face, blue eyes shining with sorrow, pink lips trembling slightly with unshed tears. She continued, "I could have saved Thane. I just stood there, letting him fight on his own. I should have helped him. He didn't need to go through that."

"He was dying anyway."

"That doesn't change my lack of action."

"Commander-" he paused at the firm look she gave him, "Sylvia, he would rather have died in a fight than on a bed."

She liked the sound of her name on his lips. She shook her head. That was not the point of this. "I know. But I still should have done something."

"You were with him when he passed. That's all you could do."

She turned away from him, her shoulders slumped. She was trying to hide the tears that fell from her eyes, but he knew. Javik put a hand on her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. He was mildly relieved when he felt the gratitude flow through her.

"How do you do it?" She asked softly.

"Do what?"

"Witness so much death and still keep going?"

"War brings death. There is nothing you can do about it. In a war with the Reapers, there is no time to mourn. You simply move on."

"No, you're wrong. If we don't mourn our fallen, then we are no better than the Reapers. We are not machines. We have the ability to feel pain and loss and happiness and love. Without that, we are no better than them. Taking the time to mourn the lost isn't weak, it's organic."

With his hand still on her shoulder, he could feel the torrent of emotions that swept through her. Anger at his casual dismissal, hate towards the Reapers, fear that the grief would consume her, hope that no one else would suffer. He withdrew his hand, "This is why you fight?"

Knowing he wasn't addressing what she said she answered, "Yes."

"No one fought for anything other than survival in my time. There was nothing else. In this cycle there is still so much hope. I do not understand it."

"You were born in war. We were not. What had lasted hundreds of years for you has been only months for us. It's easy to hope when you have something to hope for."

"I do not think I will ever have anything to hope for, Com-Sylvia."

She half turned to face him, "When you want to find something, I'll be here."

He nodded. "You need rest."

She groaned, "Not you too!"

"You are exhausted."

"I'm fine."

"I can sense you are lying."

"Damn it. Fine. I'll try. Happy now?"

"It's acceptable."

"Good, because it's all you're going to get."

"Then I will leave you." The Prothean hesitated.

"Seriously? I tell you to address me by my first name, give you permission to speak freely and you wait for me to dismiss you?"

"In my cycle-"

"Yes, yes, I know. Things were different. This is my cycle. How about I do this? I give you my permission to enter my cabin any time the light on the door is green, unless it is an emergency. Also, you are to call me by my first name when you are in my cabin. You do not have to ask my permission to leave. All I ask is that you respect these privileges."

He blinked all four eyes at her. "Yes, Commander."

She gave him a smile and rolled her two eyes. "Good night, Javik."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Really short bridge chapter. Next one will be longer! Bioware owns the ME universe.**

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More fetch mission from her superiors. It insulted Javik the things they were sent off to do. They were finely honed soldiers, not third rate grunts. But Shepard couldn't pass up someone in danger, nor would she ever be able to. He scrubbed his hands free of the grim that permeated this cycle and scowled into the water. Her constant desire to help those in need was going to be end to her. He knew they were getting ready to dock at the Citadel and he had tried his hand at the primate messaging system. It was clumsy and slow, nothing like the woman he was trying to reach. He didn't bother reprimanding himself for his lustful thoughts anymore. He was the last of his kind and she was the closest thing to Prothean that existed now, since her ample contact with the beacons and cipher. If his body reacted to her, it was out of his control. He felt nothing of the sort toward the human, even though her pheromones quickened his pulse. Or so he continuously told himself.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Moving right along. I hope you guys are liking this so far. It's a blast to write! Thanks for reading/following/faving/reviewing! Bioware owns the ME universe.**

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Shepard met Javik in the embassies. She was thrilled to see him off the ship outside of missions. They talked about government in his time and hers, before being interrupted by curious onlookers. After his somewhat encouraging speech, he made to go back to the ship. She stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

"Leaving so soon?"

"Yes."

"Why don't we have lunch or something? You're hardly ever off the ship. This may be one of the last times you get to see the Citadel."

He turned back to her, "A tour?"

She grinned and nodded. He motioned her on, scowling slightly. She led him to the elevator and thumbed the button for the Commons.

"So, where do you want to eat?"

"I do not eat in public."

"O-ok. How about a walk then?"

"Acceptable."

"Anywhere you want to see?"

"The lake. Water is calming to my people."

"And here I thought you didn't know how to relax."

Javik chuffed and they walked the rest of the way in silence. Shepard took them a roundabout way, trying to avoid the vast majority of crowds. Once at the lake, they leaned on the railing, letting the silence stretch.

"Something weighs heavy on your mind." He said indifferently.

Shepard fought the urge to snort. It was infuriating that someone could know her so well. It made her feel vulnerable that someone could see past her Commander mask to the human behind it. She could always brush him off, like he so often did, but for all the vulnerability she enjoyed being able let go every now and then. So she sighed, "We're in a galactic war that we're destined to lose. And I'm supposed to change that."

Javik remained silent, having spent enough time around the commander to know she wasn't looking for reassurance or petty observations about her greatness. She was above such things, as was he. She was merely putting voice to her thoughts and doubts, finally having a reason to do so. No one else could see what she didn't want them to, except for him.

"I know this is going to get worse before it gets better," Shepard continued. "But how much worse can it get before people give up on hope, on me? If they give up, then the war is as good as over. I can't allow that. I just don't know what else I can do."

"You cannot win a war on hope alone."

"Any more than we can survive without air. But without hope, people in this cycle can't- won't- fight. Should I take away the will to fight trying for a swift end, or should I lengthen the war trying to do everything?"

"There is not a right answer."

"The right answer is whatever ends this."

Silence once again found its way between them. After a moment, Shepard stepped back with a sigh.

"Thank you for meeting with me, Commander. I have enjoyed my time among the young." Javik said, folding his arms.

"Anytime, Javik. It was nice to see you off the ship. Can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a last name?"

If he had been capable, he would have raised an eyebrow at her odd question. Instead he answered, "No. We did not need them."

"I see. Well, thanks. I guess I'll see you back on the ship."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Because Javik has no tact. Hope you guys are still enjoying this! Bioware owns the ME universe. **

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"Commander, I have a question about human behavior."

Shepard glanced over to him as she snapped a pistol magazine in place, "Shoot."

"There is nothing to shoot on your ship."

"It means ask away, Javik," she replied with a smirk.

He scowled, "I see. I have noticed an increase in pheromones on the ship. It seems other species are seeking mates. Why are you not?"

Turning to face him, she cocked her head to the side. "Why should I?"

"You do not wish to procreate?"

Shepard chuckled, "I never said that."

"Your command position does not prohibit it."

"The regs do, not that I've ever paid much mind to them. It's not that I don't want to, or that I'm not allowed to. I've always been looking for something special that I know will last."

"I see."

"Oh, good. Because I don't. Thinking about it now, it seems stupid to wait. How much time do we really have left? But I don't want to jump in the sack with the first person who looks at me, either."

Javik gave her a look that quickened her pulse and she had to look away. He had to know she found him attractive. It wasn't like she could hide it since he could smell it. And that _look_. Shepard mentally groaned.

He couldn't help the smirk that curled across his lips. The unflappable Commander Shepard could still blush like an adolescent school girl. Javik knew she was attracted to him. She didn't try to hide it, between her frequent visits to his room and her pheromones. He wasn't at all surprised. Being prothean put him a step above the primitives.

"My turn to ask a question."

"Yes?"

Shepard narrowed her eyes at him playfully, "If I was lucky enough to be born a prothean in your cycle, what Avatar would I have been?"

He scoffed at her attempt at flattery. "I do not know."

"I'll give you time to think on it, but I do expect an answer."

"Very well."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, we're moving from the USA to Italy and packing and everything and life's just a mess. Thank you for bearing with me! Hope you're still enjoying this fic :)**

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"Hey, Javik, got a minute?"

He turned his head to look at her, "Yes."

"I have something for you."

Javik turned fully to her and gave her that queer expression that seemed like he was raising an eyebrow that he didn't have.

Shepard pulled a set of dog tags out of her pocket and offered them to him. He took them with mild curiosity, remaining silent.

"We wear them mainly for identification purposes, but they're also a symbol of service. Some people think of them as a badge of honor. For me, having them has always meant I belong somewhere and that there will always be people I can count on. It's primitive and silly since you're the only prothean we know, but I had a set made for you. You're part of my crew, my family and this was my way of showing it." She took a deep breath, waiting for his biting remark.

"I see," was all her said. Javik turned the small metal tags in his fingers. On one side was all of his personal information and on the other was the Alliance insignia. He could feel the pride soldiers of this cycle had in these trinkets and it made him swell with the same feeling. He was no longer a lost soul, venturing out on his own against an unknowable enemy. Once again, he had that definite purpose and determination he hadn't realized was waning in the face of the never ending war. He put them around his neck and looked up at the commander, "Thank you."

She smiled at him in response, resisting the urge to hug him.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hope everyone that celebrates the 4th of July had a good one! Here's a fun little teaser for you. Thanks for reading/faving/reviewing/following! Bioware owns the ME universe.**

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Experiencing the geth consensus was something she had never thought she would do. Shepard had been nervous going in, but now, sitting on the shuttle going back to ship, it was right up there on her list of favorite accomplishments, along with coming back from the dead and becoming the first human Specter. Javik had refused to speak with her about it, saying only that he found it foolish no matter how much faith she had in the Legion machine. She glanced to where he was sitting. He scowled at her and looked away, suddenly very thoroughly inspecting the structural integrity of the shuttle.

Back on the ship, she hoped off the shuttle and made her way to the elevator. There was a hot shower with her name on it somewhere near the top of the ship and that's where she was heading, barring no emergency got in the way.

Javik paced in his room, scowling at the walls. How could she let the machines access to her mind? How could she do it without back up, without him? What if they changed something in her? That thought stopped him cold. If those machines altered her, she could side with the reapers and bring them all down. She wouldn't be his commander anymore. He turned on his heel and jogged to the elevator.

Up in her cabin, Shepard stripped off her armor and stowed it, vowing to clean it after her shower. Tugging on the zipper of the mesh undersuit, she sighed as the fabric came loose. It fell to her hips and she wiggled it the rest of the way off, leaving her standing in just tight black undershorts. She never wore a bra with her armor, but she learned early on that underwear down low were a near necessity should she wish to avoid chaffing. Bending to pick up the garment, she almost didn't hear the door to her cabin open. She snapped up and crossed her arms over her bare chest.

"Javik!"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: And the conclusion to Javik lacking manners. Thanks so much for all the awesome comments and support! Love you guys! Biowar owns the ME universe.**

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The prothean paid no mind to Shepard's startled yell or her lack of coverage as he stormed into her room

"It was foolish to let those machines access to your mind. I will see for myself if they altered you or not." He grabbed her shoulders and slipped into her mind.

Shepard just stood in shock. Normally, she would have decked whoever had barged into her room while she was mostly naked. But Javik had walked right up to her and gripped her shoulders before she had fully processed what he had said. He hadn't sounded angry, or wholly disproving. He had sounded damn near desperate to see if she really was still herself and not some mind controlled drone. So instead of shoving him off and landing a mean right hook to his smug alien face, she let him search her mind for whatever he needed to see to know she was still the same.

After some time, Javik released her and took a step back. Shepard adjusted her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at him, "Well?"

"The experience changed you."

"I know."

"You are still going to destroy the Reapers."

"Yep."

"Very well. That was what I needed, Commander." And just like that, he turned and left again.

"I told you to call me Sylvia in my room!" She shouted after him. If he heard, he didn't respond. She sighed and shook her head. Did that really just fucking happen? She shook her head again, now not entirely sure she was right in the head. Muttering about weird aliens, she padded to her long awaited shower.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So so so sorry for the delay! Moving kind of kicked my ass and I lost the will to do anything but stare blankly at a TV screen for a couple of days. Thank you so much for sticking with the story and me! I try to make it really good...Bioware owns the ME universe. **

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Javik watched Shepard and the quarian talk on the surface of Rannoch. It was bitter sweet for the young admiral, finally setting foot on her home planet during a war with sentient machines hell bent on destroying it. With a smile, the commander picked up a rock and handed it to her friend. He couldn't hear what was said, but it had a profound impact on the quarian, who stood and watched the commander walk away. Turning the rock over in her hand for a moment longer, a renewed feeling of hope, admiration, trust and kinship surged through her. She pocketed it with a deep sense of gratitude before trotting off after the human. Javik followed at a distance. The commander took time out of a war to bolster the spirit of her team mate in a way that had little to do with battle. It was a novel concept for the ancient alien and it gave him another glimpse of the woman behind the commander mask. She was put up as the only hope for the galaxy to find peace and he was beginning to understand why. She was more than just a solider. She was everything worth saving about this cycle.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So helping the quarians drove me a little crazy the first time I played through it. Anyway, here's the next little bit! Hope it's still okay. **

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Rannoch gave her a bad feeling the minute she entered its orbit. Nearly getting killed on the geth dreadnaught right off the bat didn't help much either, and squaring off with a reaper was just the icing on the cake. One hit from the combined fleet and it was down. Shepard took a moment to reflect on everything that had happened since she involved herself in another war as she lined up another shot. She had regained both Tali and Legion. _Another hit to the reaper_. Nearly been blown up and killed countless times. _Damn that thing is getting close_. Entered the geth consensus. _Okay, really not liking how big it is_. And saved the quarian admiral she had wanted to punch. Over all, she hadn't done too badly here. So, if she died going toe-to-toe with a reaper, it would be fitting, if wrong. There was still work to do after all. Grinning like the Cheshire cat, she lined up what would be the last shot.

"Smile big, motherfucker."

Javik check his weapon for the fifth time, his armor for the seventh and his omni-tool for the third. Shepard had taken off in the direction of the reaper, ordering them to get the hell out of there. And they had listened. He bared his teeth at the thought. Had he known she would actually do it, he could have stopped her. But she was so impulsive; he didn't see it coming until it was too late. The image of her running towards the reaper, with its red beam silhouetting her, would haunt him for the rest of his days. In his time, he had seen too many good soldiers die doing what she was attempting. He-this war-would fail and lose purpose if she was not here.

When had he to rely on her so much?


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I've had family drama to say the least. If I have to go to one more funeral, I'm going to lose it. Anyway, enough of that. Here's the next little part! I hope you guys are still liking it!**

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She wouldn't sacrifice one species for another, would she?

She wouldn't wipe out any race.

She saved the rachni.

The Legion machine was nearly done with its upload and the quarian was just this side of hysteric. Shepard refused to look at either of them, instead burning her eyes with Rannoch's sun. Javik stood a few feet away, arms crossed and scowling. How dare these primitives put the commander in this position? She had just squared off with a reaper and won. Both species should die for their foolishness. But he knew the woman would never allow it. So the question remained, who would die? Her emotions raged behind the cool mask and he did not envy her in the least. The quarian squeaked out another desperate plea and Shepard sprang into action. She contacted the fleet and gave a grand, soul shattering speech that defused the entire situation. Javik's mouth fell open in shock. She had saved both. Commander Shepard had single handedly ended a war three hundred years in the making without firing a single shot. She turned back to Tali and Legion. A cold feeling settled over her as Legion spoke. Javik took the chance to step closer to her as the geth fell. He could once again feel her heart break as she looked away from the shell of her team mate. From the outside, it was clear she was sad to see him go, but to Javik, it was just a small part of the emotional tidal wave she was holding back. But she stayed strong, because that's what the galaxy needed.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: And here's the next mini chapter! Bioware still owns everything, and will for the foreseeable future. This was partially inspired by something I said to a family member at one of the funerals, but I altered it to better fit Mass Effect and the fic. Thanks for reading!**

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Shepard put Legion's name up on the memorial wall and, for the umpteenth time, cursed whoever had put the damn thing in front of the elevator. Everyone who had known the geth gathered around to pay their respects as she stepped back away from the monument, weary in every way. She followed the group back out the mess for a drink in his honor. The entire group was somber and quiet. Some were drinking considerably more than others, looking for solace at the bottom of a bottle and Shepard didn't have the heart to stop them. If she decided to be honest, it didn't sound like such a bad idea right then. But she restricted herself to just enough alcohol to dull the pain before pushing off the counter she was leaning against and heading out of the mess. Javik, who had refused any drink, was watching her with a keen interest. There was something bubbling just beneath the surface and he found himself sitting on pins and needles as she brushed past him. Before rounding the corner to the elevator, she stopped and turned back to her sullen crew.

"I know we've all lost friends, team mates, family. I know we're all afraid we're going to lose more. But, you can't ever really lose someone close to you, you see. If you think of them when they catch your attention instead of pushing them away and remember the good, as well as the bad times you shared, then they aren't really lost. They're just taking an extended leave and are waiting for us to meet them there. And as much as it hurts that they're gone, and as much as we want to see them again, I say we make them wait a little longer." Her voice, though rough with unshed tears, was still strong and carried through the mess. Those gathered raised their glasses and bottles and uttered a heartfelt chorus of "here, here" before drinking in unison.

Her speech had bolstered them enough to start sharing old stories of the fallen; the alcohol loosening their tongues after the melancholy took hold again. Nodding to herself, she slipped into the elevator and left them to their memories.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading/faving/following/reviewing! I love getting notifications telling me someone else likes my work. Seriously makes my day. Thanks again and here's the next tidbit.**

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"Commander?"

Shepard slowly pulled herself to a sitting position on the couch where she was laying trying to read some shitty romance novel and looked at Javik. "Yes?"

"Why are you not with the crew?"

"Needed a break."

"The Admiral has requested you dry dock the ship, yes?"

She nodded mutely.

"Do it."

She raised an eyebrow at him and waited for him to give a reason for the sudden change in attitude. The last time they had taken the better part of a day on the Citadel to restock, he had given her a tongue lashing that would have made her mother proud. Now, he was telling her to take an undetermined amount of time off from a war that they were losing at an alarming rate.

"War cannot be won when the one leading it falters."

Shepard pulled herself from the couch and picked up a glass with amber liquid swirling in it. She brought it to her lips and took a long drink before sighing, "I never wanted to lead it."

"That is what makes you the best."

The commander resisted the urge to sigh again. Instead, she moved to the aquarium and watched the fish swim lazily back and forth. She wished life could be that simple, where the most important thing to worry about was when the VI would dispense food and whether to swim to the right or the left of the fake plant. Javik could sense her negative emotions and had the desperate urge to fix her problems, even though he knew rightly well that it wasn't possible. He scoffed at his stupidity and blamed it on being surrounded by primitives, despite the voice in back of his mind telling him that wasn't the cause. The silence stretched with nothing but the humming of the ship and the bubbling water to lend life to the scene. He suddenly remembered a question she had asked him in jest that he had refused to answer. Maybe if he answered it now, it would bring her smile back. She had such a lovely smile…No. No, he was merely bolstering her spirit as he had seen her do with the quarian on Rannoch. Why he was even doing that, he couldn't (or wouldn't) try to think about.

"Had you been born in my cycle, you would have been one of our Avatars," Javik said. Shepard turned to him and raised an eyebrow. He continued, "In my time on the _Normandy_, I have been observing you primitives. There are many that wish to throw others in the path of the reapers in an effort to escape. There are others that would hide in the hope they would not be found. There are others that will fight until there is nothing left to kill. And then, there is you. You have spent an immeasurable amount of time working to unite the races that rule your time in a fleeting hope that you can defeat an impossible enemy. You end wars." The ancient alien uncrossed his arms and stepped closer to her. The commander just blinked at him, still trying to process what he was saying. "You are the Avatar of Peace."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Two chapters at once because I feel like it. Thank you to S-Wanderer999 who gave me the idea for this bit. I'm always open to ideas and such from readers. If there's anything you want to see (or a different work you would want me to do) just let me know via review or PM. :)**

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Javik had left her cabin without another word. In hind sight, maybe she should have said something after his little speech, but she couldn't think of anything to say. 'Thank you' didn't seem like the best choice, but silence was clearly worse. Maybe he could tell that she was grateful, just at a loss for words. Or maybe he hadn't been looking for any kind of response. Shepard was just about to run after him when her cabin door opened again and Liara stepped in.

"Hello, Shepard. Is this a bad time?"

"No, come in."

"I noticed Javik just left."

"Yeah."

The asari moved down the stairs to sit on the couch. Shepard trailed after her. "You two are spending a lot of time together."

"Are we?" The commander knew she spent more time with him than she did sleeping, but that wasn't saying much. She rarely slept anymore.

"Yes. You never leave him behind for missions and he doesn't seem to have a problem coming to your room."

It didn't surprise Shepard as much as it should that Liara knew that. "Neither do you." Liara laughed and shook her head at the blonde haired woman, who shrugged. "I like him," she said simply. She didn't have the energy or the desire to lie to her friend.

"That much is obvious, Shepard."

"Jealous?"

They both laughed and Liara answered, "Not in the sense you're thinking."

"Uh-huh."

Liara deflected with a question, "Is he always so brusque?"

The commander thought about it. She had just come to see him as Javik, not rude or short or ignorant. He was the same as anyone else in her rag-tag crew, an alien with his own views and opinions and attitude. "Not really. I guess once you get to know him, he does open up more. I still know almost nothing about him, though so maybe not," she smiled. "He stopped calling everything about our cycle primitive."

"That's a start."

The two women fell into a comfortable silence. Shepard felt better after talking with Javik, the thought that he had come up to see her just to check on her wellbeing had helped brightened her mood.

"So, you like him."

Shepard sighed, "I do. He can be an ass, sure, but how would you feel if you woke up 50,000 years from now and everyone you knew was long gone?"

"I believe I would be more sad than angry."

"Well, he is the Avatar of Vengeance."

"I wonder how many avatars they had," Liara said thoughtfully.

"I'll ask the next time it comes up."

"Shepard?"

"Mmm?"

"Could you share what you learn from him?"

"With my best friend and favorite prothean expert? I don't see why I wouldn't."

The asari turned her bright eyes to Shepard, "I think he's good for you."

"Really?"

"Yes. You know you guys act like you're dating?"

"We do not." The commander couldn't stop the smile that tugged the corners of her mouth up.

"Yes, you do," Liara said with such authority that it brokered no more argument on the subject. "You should try to get some sleep. You look terrible."

Shepard barked out a dry laugh, "Thanks for that positive feedback."

"It's what friends are for, right?"

She nodded and walked her friend out to the elevator. When she was alone, Shepard dropped herself into the desk chair to check her messages. She found the one from Admiral Hackett requesting the _Normandy _dry dock at the Citadel.

Maybe she would do it, after all.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: ****_Spoiler Alert! Citadel DLC._**** So, yea. Anyway, I'm getting bribed to post more so I'll post three chapters today. Yay! Thanks for reading/faving/following/reviewing! I love love****_ love_**** getting emails saying someone reviewed or started following or favorited my work. Seriously makes my week. So Bioware still owns the ME universe. **

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Take a break, he said. You need it, he said.

Fuck him.

Shepard had just fallen through a fish tank and who knows how far onto the ground after getting shot at by mercs with bad showmanship. Next time someone told her to 'take a break' she was going to tell them to go give a lap dance to a reaper. At least she had ended up with a gun. And the mercs happened to have extra ammo on them, not that it mattered since she was a skilled biotic. All she had to do was dodge bullets until the shuttle got here. Or she got to it, whatever happened first and involved her survival. Brooks came over the comm saying something about using too much medi-gel. Then the line crackled and Liara's voice filled her ears. Not long after that, an unexpected voice came on.

_"Commander?"_

"Javik?"

_"Who is attacking the Citadel?"_

"No one."

_"I hear gun fire."_

"Yeah, I'm making new friends."

_"Who is this? Get off the comm! You're endangering the commander."_

_"I am doing no such thing, primitive woman."_

"Guys, shut up. Brooks, meet my longtime friend Liara and Javik, my -" Shepard was cut off by a merc and she was very grateful. She repaid him by shoving her omni-blade through his gut. Catching her breath and reloading, she mentally kicked herself for her near slip up. She unfairly blamed Liara for that dating comment she made the other night, but she knew it was more the product of wishful thinking. It really didn't matter what she felt for the ancient alien, they were the products of two different cycles and she would always be primitive to him. A bullet struck her side and she muttered a curse. She had actually liked this dress, too. Shepard pulled herself into cover and hissed when she jostled her injury. Maybe Javik had the right idea going everywhere in armor. And Brooks had used all the medi-gel. Well, this was going to be fantastic.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Chapter 2 of 3 for today. Hope people are still liking this. Still in the Citadel DLC. And Bioware still owns it. Thanks for reading/faving/following/reviewing!**

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Shepard had peeled the ruined dress off and left it in a heap on the bedroom floor. She was standing in the master bathroom wearing a sports bra and PT shorts, poking at her newest wound. It happened to be right on top of her ribs, which were sore from her fall. In reality everything hurt since she fell through that damn fish tank, but the bullet was amplifying the pain in her torso.

"You are injured."

She smoothed medi-gel across her ribs without glancing back to Javik. She had heard the door open and had immediately hoped it was him. The lack of booted footsteps had told her it was indeed the prothean, since he was the only one in her crew that lacked footwear of that sort.

"What you were wearing was not appropriate for combat. You should not have fought."

"I did have that thought right about the time I got shot."

Javik stepped up close behind her and pulled the medi-gel out of her hand. He proceeded to remove a shard of glass from her shoulder and dab the ointment over the cut. His hands were gentle and she could feel the ridges of his alien fingers sliding over her skin.

"Turn."

Shepard complied, willing her heart to slow down and her pheromones not to give her away. She kept her face neutral as he checked the patch job she had done on her side. Finding it satisfactory, he examined the rest of her body for other injuries. When his eyes finally reached her face, they found a cut on her bottom lip. With a series of soft touches, he covered it in medi-gel and lingered in her personal space for a breadth longer than was strictly necessary. The hesitation was not lost on Shepard, but before she could react, he had turned and stalked away.

"I believe the crew wishes to speak with you," was all he said as he left the room.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: And 3 of 3 for today. Short and sweet, hopefully good. Thanks for reading/faving/following/reviewing! Bioware still owns it.**

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"Hell no."

Liara failed to stifle a giggle and Javik continued to glare. "You primitives never learn. You should wear your armor, as I am."

"This is the part where we have to blend in. If I have to wear _that_," Shepard gestured to the dress bag slung over the couch, "then you can't wear your armor."

"I have nothing else," the alien replied, his tolerance with the argument clearly at an end.

"I believe our Shadow Broker can find you something suitable." Shepard challenged.

Liara pulled up her omni-tool and said, "Done."

"No, not that one. It'll clash with my new dress." She feigned exasperation.

"Oh, yes of course. This one should be better."

"Ah, perfect," the commander smirked at Javik. He scowled in return and trudged out of the room. Shepard turned to Liara, "On a scale of one to he's going to kill me in my sleep, how bad do you think I pissed him off?"

"Well, when he tosses you out of the airlock, I believe he will at least let you keep your helmet."

"Lucky me."

"If it had been anyone else, you know he just would have shot us, right?"


End file.
